It’s a gorgeous morning. The sky above the mountains is a vivid blue, with streaks of white clouds stretching above the blue haze of mountain peaks. The breeze is cool and invigorating, and feels good as it brushes against my cheeks. I’m so glad to be alive—so happy to be the person God created me to be.
Last night, however, I was feeling blue and lonely, and so mad at myself. I had just been to a youth gathering, and although I had a good time with my friends, I was struggling against worthless feelings. We had been playing volleyball, like usual, and I am one of the worst volleyball players. The ball doesn't seem to cooperate with me very often, flying to the side or hitting the net. I hate messing up my team, and when sides were chosen, I of course was chosen last. (Thankfully we usually number off. :) ) Also, I felt mad at myself for being so quiet and introverted. I am a deep-thinker and a quiet personality by nature, so when the young people are talking in a group I like to just sit and listen, and smile, maybe add a little comment here and there. I do better one on one, but I’ve never been much of a talker unless I know someone extremely well, or feel really comfortable.
And last night, I was mad at myself all over again. It seemed like no one really liked me. Sure, they were my friends, but they didn’t really miss me if I was gone or really care if I was around. I was just the quiet Abigail, and I didn’t really matter that much. At least, it was easy to think that way.
After a long talk with my dad, I felt a lot better, but it was this morning at the youth’s prayer meeting that God really hit the truth home to my heart. Our youth leader was talking about peer pressure, and one statement struck my heart like a dagger. “Don’t let peer pressure define the person you are.” Suddenly, I got it. (again :) ) God had created me quiet. He had made me not such a big talker. I wasn’t very charming or especially smart, or good at volleyball. But I could smile. I could love others and genuinely care about them. I could splash God’s love over to others who were hungry for it, and I could be an encourager. God had given me gifts, and after all, I do talk a lot sometimes.
It wasn’t about me. I was nothing. But Christ had made me something. He had created me good, given me His very nature, put Himself inside me, and given me the ability to become a beautiful young woman, radiant with love and joy. And right now, I feel so happy I could burst. Because I’m free to be the person HE created me to be. He made me myself…and has awesome plans for me!
For all of us.
I am a 17-year old daughter of the King, living in Montana with my parents, five younger brothers, and little sister. I love living here in this gorgeous place, and every day God shows me a little more of how awesome He is. I have a passion for Israel and the Jews, and it is my dream to live in Israel and help God’s people someday. My interests include writing, art, piano, swimming, volleyball :), flower gardening, working with moms and babies, poetry, reading biographies and writing novels, and spending time with friends and family in the great outdoors.