when it starts to get old

I know that you know that we all know that feeling that you get when you go to a conference or church or a revival service and you refocus on God and you determine to live completely for God everyday for the rest of your life.

(whew! I think that's a run-on!)

And then... I also know that you know that we all know that feeling that you get about a month later, when that all-out crazy surrender starts to get old.

It's almost like a sugar-rush. You have your fun for a while, but a few hours later you're nothin' but pooped! Unfortunately, these spiritual sugar-rushes don't last for months and years and the rest of our lives. They usually only last for a little while, and when our sugar-rush is over, we wonder why we don't feel so spiritual anymore.

Am I right? Or is it just me?

When the whole thing starts to get old, let me tell you that it doesn't mean you're not real, or you're not a good Christian, or you're not as spiritual as Susie over there. (apologies if any of you are named Susie :) ) But, it does mean that...

YOU'RE HUMAN!

Congratulations! If you haven't figured this out yet, we all go through these ups-and-downs stages. Ask any girl who's been a Christian for a few years and she's gone through it at least a few times.

God sees us go on our spiritual roller coasters everyday. He knows what's going through your mind when your having a blast on the loop-de-loops and hills, and He knows what you're thinking when you come to the slower, straight  end of the roller coaster. He's seen it billions of times. He reminds us in the Bible that the high-low times come to all of us:

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, But God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13

So, when you find yourself getting "bored" with what God is doing in your life, sit down, have a cup of tea, or coffee, or hot cocoa, or whatever you love to drink, and get real with yourself. Remember why you are here, who you serve, and who you are. Then get up and live your life with that stuff in mind. Don't be seeking your next spiritual sugar-rush. Live this moment as a real girl in a real life that should be appreciated.

So...

February 14th used to be one of my favorite days of the year. I always had something planned for my significant other, and I always anticipated something from them. It was great. It was lovey-dovey. It was "romantic" (in every 9th-grader sense of the word).

Until I became single.

Like now.

Now I get to walk through Walmart's mountains of giant teddy bears and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. I think most of you girls are single, and you've probably been single for your whole life. Or maybe you're single, but you have hopes and dreams that you could be with someone. And sometimes, we can get down about our situation. A lot of us don't have a problem with the holiday, but most of us look forward to the day that we can spend Valentine's with a special someone. And some of us get our buttons pushed when we see our friends having a great day with their romantic interests.

We all know about 1 Corinthians 13. But do we really get it? Do we just read all the characteristics of love and then say, "Yeah, that's great. I'll show love to my family and my friends and the people I influence." That's wonderful. But let me tell you something. There's nothing wrong with loving your future husband now, either.

Look at the characteristics of love from 1 Corinthians 13....

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy...

Let's pause there for a second. You can love your future husband by being patient for him. You can show love to others by being kind to those people that are having a fun time with their significant other. You can love your future husband by not being envious of the couples around you, knowing that God's plan for you and your future husband is beautiful. Let's go on...

Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love is dignified.
Love is not selfish.

We can love our future husbands by not boasting of how we are "following God's plan" by waiting. God's plan for you is probably much, much different than God's plan for the next person. Don't look down on someone, or act pridefully, because you don't think they are following God's will. Their life is completely different than yours, and their walk with God is only between them and God. This shows dignity, in that you are confident in God's leading in your life, but you don't judge others. We have to be very, very careful to avoid selfishness. It will mar our love, because true love is selfless. Let's look at some more.

Love is not easily angry.
Love does not think evil of another.
Love does not rejoice in iniquity.
Love rejoices in the truth.

If you are in love with God and your future husband, you should not be easily angered at your situation. It's important that we realize that God makes all things beautiful in His time. His timing is perfect for your life. Also, you should not be assuming sin of another person. This ties in with what I said earlier. Don't assume that someone else is going the "wrong" way, just because they aren't going your way. Now we see that someone showing love to another (including her future husband) does not rejoice in iniquity. She will not rejoice in rebelling against God's commandments concerning abstinence. She will instead rejoice in the truth that God knows the desires of her heart, and that God's timing is amazing. Let's see some more characteristics of love...

Love bears through all things.
Love believes through all things.
Love hopes through all things.
Love endures through all things.

"All things" is not limited to fun, fluffy things. Actually, it's a lot more likely that the point here is that love bears, believes, hopes, and endures through all hardships- small or big. A jewel of Jesus, showing the love of Jesus, and loving her future husband, will strive to show this love through all things. She will bear through hardships, because she trusts in God. She will believe God's Word and His promises. She will maintain her hope in a heavenly wedding feast with Jesus. She will endure through all things, knowing that as she shows love to others, she will be rewarded in glory.

Obviously, all these characteristics are characteristics of perfect love, and only God has perfect love. We, as human girls, will struggle through some of these things, if not all of them. Life's tough, but love's stronger.*** Ask God to help you show His love to others, including your future husband.

There's this verse that says, "She (a virtuous woman) will do him (her husband) good all the days of her life." (Proverbs 31:12). Jewels, "all days" includes today. You can truly love your future husband now. Be sure you ask for God's help, because any kind of journey of love requires a lot of strength, which only comes from God. Don't be discouraged when you struggle with something; we all do struggle with these things, more than we like to admit.

There's two more characteristics of love from 1 Corinthians 13 that I want to conclude with:

Love never fails.
Love abides forever.

Love someone today <3

So let's talk about prayer...

Okay, so let’s talk about prayer…you know that face you make when someone around you gets hurt, or when you realized you did something horrible without even knowing it? I think that writers better than me call it “wincing.” Well, that was what I did when I decided to write on prayer. Not because it’s a bad topic, but because it’s a really good topic. A topic that, well, if I wanted to write a nice, clean, lovely encouraging post about prayer, well, I couldn’t do it honestly.

Because, to tell you the truth, I’ve been working on this whole prayer thing for years…and I just can’t seem to get a hold of it. So allow me to write a messy, honest, down to the grit post about prayer.

What is prayer? And our typical answer would be “Prayer is talking to God.” And then we move on to pray…we thank God for something, we apologize for any sins we know hurt Him, and we continue with our list of prayer requests for other people and then end with our own. Right? Well, most of the time, I don’t get that far. Most of the time, I can’t even get past those first two sentences….

The fact that God calls me to pray, when prayer is talking to Him, makes me stagger in shyness. Because it reminds me once again of God’s boundless love for me and the rest of His girls and boys. Because it reminds me of my too-often bounded love for God. Too often the love I return back to God is bound by conditions and insecurities. And when I finally comprehend that, I am ashamed. And I cry out to God and apologize and surrender…every time I go to pray. Trying to comprehend the fact that He bids my un-agape soul to come to His throne from which proceeds the vastest love in the universe to bring my requests to Him…it causes me to fall on my knees. Through this heart-prayer, I lay everything at God’s feet.

And this is what has happened almost every time I begin a prayer since I committed my teenage life to learning more about prayer. At times, I think that I should be “further” in my prayer life by now. But what I have learned is this: Sometimes God’s purpose of prayer can be to reveal Himself to us. I have learned so much about the faithfulness of God through this almost awkward journey through prayer. I’m still learning so much about Him, and I have seen Him answer the surrendering prayers of my heart so many times. I’m learning to pray for other people, not just by whispering their names in a so-called “prayer,” but I have learned to pray for other people by lifting up their lives with my heart to God. Trust me, prayer is so much more than the words we say. It is more than the list we write at our prayer meetings. The very substance of prayer is who God is. Think about it. He already knows what you are going to say. But He wants you to come to Him and lay everything at His feet. He already knows how it’s going to work out. But He’s your Father and He wants to commune with you.

Anyway, I’m not sure I’m making sense. Hopefully, some of you will know what I’m talking about when I refer to my wincing at the writing topic. I’m sure there are more experienced posts on prayer. I’m sure there are some honest, beautiful expounding posts on prayer. But I can’t put on a face about it. Allow me to be honest about my personal prayer life and what I have learned. Prayer revolves around God and His Word, not around you and your words.

-Cosette